I acknowledge your bland response to the Olympic Legacy e-petition. I doubt you would be surprised to hear that the response has not been enthusiastically received. Might I humbly offer some simple suggestions on how the UK might substantially increase its financial contribution to both elite and community sports, not to mention the health, education and the housing programmes. Firstly, have you ever considered not engaging in illegal and futile foreign wars whose usual purpose is to secure cheap oil supplies for your partner in crime, the US of A. You would be shocked at the extra revenues that would be left in the exchequer, but then again you will know this perfectly well having been the Chancellor of the Exchequer throughout two of these wars.

You might recall that it was, in fact, your beloved ally, the United States, that armed Saddam Hussein to the teeth in the first place, a policy aimed at allowing Iraq to wage war against the Islamic Republic of Iran. Then, when Saddam became a little too troublesome (ie independent minded) the US and your government unilaterally opted for regime change.’ Irony upon irony, the net result of this little colonial escapade was to allow Iran in through the back door. Iraq is now rapidly becoming little more than a client state for the Iranian Mullahs. A further irony being that the once brutal but secular Iraq is now home to a flourishing fundamentalist Al Qaeda base where once, under Saddam, there was none. Funny how these little foreign adventures go astray. Remember Suez?

Another extremely costly little adventure, still in full swing, is our second attempt to impose our colonial will on Afghanistan. Remember that futile British attempt in the nineteenth century? I’m sure you do. The Afghans are still proving rather stubborn in their refusal to become just another client state of good old Uncle Sam. Strange how people just don’t seem to like the presence of foreign troops goose stepping all over their towns and villages, and all in the name of freedom and democracy. Now while the Taliban are definitely not my idea of a freedom loving, progressive government, neither are the bunch of brutal warlords and drug runners that you and your mates in Washington are hoping to replace them with. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t your military commanders now telling you to start talking to the Taliban with a view to getting them to rejoin the government. A highly expensive ten year war and we are right back to where we were at the beginning.

As for Al Qaeda, I must again remind you that it was your dear democratic friends in the Pentagon who armed and trained the for-runners (moujahedeen) of this murderous little outfit with the single purpose of overthrowing a progressive government in Kabul who were getting a little bit too friendly with your old adversary; the Soviet Union.’ Al Qaeda was created in the United States of America and having overthrown the progressive Kabul government and then bogged the Soviets down in an un-winnable war, the worm turned on its creator. Isn’t history a bundle of laughs! Not of course for the millions of Afghan civilians who have been caught up the machinations of US imperial politics, nor for the hapless Nato soldiers who lose their life and limbs for a fake war on terror. I suggest the real terrorists are in Washington. Ask the Vietnamese about that.’

May I suggest Gordon that, as you will soon have plenty of spare time on your hands, you start your programme of retirement reading with William Blum’s excellent little book, ‘Rogue State: A guide to the World’s only Superpower, Zed Books, London 2000. Blum, formerly of the US State Department, has compiled a devastating indictment on US foreign policy that can only be described as State terrorism. Anything that Al Qaeda and its affiliates throw at the West pales into insignificance by comparison. Here’s a little taster Gordon, to wet your appetite.

‘Osama bin Laden ‘ alleged to have been the mastermind behind the bombing of two US embassies in Africa in 1998 ‘ was not always on Washington’s hate list. He and many other Islamic fundamentalists were supremely useful during the 1980s in Washington’s war which quashed the last chance the Afghan people had for desperately needed social and economic reform and a secular society. Because of their uninhibited, sadistic cruelty directed against Government and Soviet soldiers in Afghanistan, the fundamentalists ‘ the moujahedeen were ‘good’ terrorists. They were ‘our’ terrorists. After the success of their jihad (in Afghanistan) these forces roamed afar, carrying out grisly actions in numerous corners of the world, metamorphosing into really ‘bad’ terrorists.’ P 33

These CIA trained mercenaries are still up to their tricks, one of their favourite being the murder of any Afghan teachers who dare to teach young Afghan girls. Of course Gordon, you know full well that the current US and UK funded government in Afghanistan has a record on women’s rights that differs little to that of the Taliban and Al Qaeda. So much for this being a war for democracy and modernity. Gordon, if you enjoy Blum’s book don’t hesitate to contact me; I can recommend dozens more in a similar vein. For example, how about Tariq Ali’s, ‘The Clash of Fundamentalisms’ to bring you right up to date on the connection between oil, US foreign policy and its so called war on terror. Or perhaps something by Noam Chomsky; a little dated I hear you say, but I think you’ll find it still relevant.

Anyway, I digress. Enough of foreign wars. We can make considerable inroads into the UK budget deficits and still have plenty left over to fund all sorts of elite and community sporting programmes by closing down all those off-shore tax havens. Have you ever considered this? Of course, in order for this to be effective you will need to coordinate with the other financial powers so as to prevent corporate skulduggery. Every government must demand that every corporation pay its full tax share.

While we’re on the topical topic of financial corporations, you might also consider a tax on all their dodgy casino type transactions. I believe some of your closest advisors are suggesting this right now. Was it not these dodgy speculative activities that triggered off our current economic woes? Of course these are only palliative measures as I’m sure you would agree. Being the leader of the Labour Party you probably remember a thing called Clause 4 in the old Labour Party constitution. Didn’t it have something to do with getting the commanding heights of the economy under national control. That way the wealth generated by the country would largely stay in the country, and there would be loads of money to reinvest in things like schools, houses and sport. What a good idea!

Dear Gordon, I suppose you realise now that your policy of ‘light touch regulation’ was hopelessly na’ve, and that you now understand that corporations won’t voluntarily give up their ill-gotten gains. I suspect you now understand that the internal logic of capitalism is one of maximisation of profit and not some altruistic policy of human well-being. ‘Oh well, life’s a learning experience. Anyway, we’ve almost nationalised part of the UK banking industry so why not go the extra mile and create a people’s bank fully owned by the tax payer. That way we could use the profits to reinvest in our children’s future, a policy which, being a family man, you would no doubt heartily endorse. It might just ensure your legacy as a brave and courageous Prime Minister rather than one that supinely went along with the warmongering war criminal, Tony Blair, not to mention your mates in the City of London who, with your connivance, have systematically embezzled’ the nation’s wealth.’

Hope these few thoughts might be useful should your government get the chance to frame another budget. If not, rest assured that the real Tory Party will be equally as inept in meeting our needs as was yours. Forget about massaging the Olympic medal tally. For you Gordon, I fear the party is well and truly over!